Sometimes a Layoff Is a Gift

A good friend called me recently to tell me he had been laid off. We’ve known each other for a long time, and he was there through each of my layoffs and job changes over the past couple of years. Now, suddenly, he was the one on the other end of the phone.

After we talked, I found myself thinking about the fact that I was one of the first people he reached out to. And I realized how much that meant to me. I’m proud that after everything I’ve been through, someone I respect values my experience enough to ask for my advice.

But his call also made me think about my own layoffs and job searches and how differently I see them now.

I'm glad I'm old

There. I said it.

When I was first laid off and then passed over for job after job that I thought I was perfect for, I spent a lot of time wondering why. Was it my reputation and I wasn’t aware of it? Had my skills become outdated? Or was it simply my age?

I'll probably never know. And that is ok.

But here's what I do know: I'm glad I was old enough to have choices. I’ve reached a point in my life where I had some financial stability. I didn't have to find another job at any cost. And I started asking a much more important question: Do I even want another job?

It took me a while to get to this point and now I am so glad. Looking back, some of those closed doors may have been exactly what I needed.

The job search has become brutal

That's one of the reasons I feel for my friend. He has a stellar reputation. He's talented. He has years of experience and a huge network of people who know and respect his work. By any reasonable measure, he should have no problem finding another job. 

But I've watched too many talented friends go through this process to believe it will necessarily be easy.

Beyond the postings that are never real in the first place, to the jobs that disappear, there are multiple rounds of interviews, the bad behavior of ghosting, and weeks of waiting only to hear nothing at all. 

Maybe the layoff isn't the worst thing

There's another part of my friend's story. The job was killing him. So when he called, I echoed what his wife has already told him - this is a blessing in disguise.

I've said for years that sometimes a layoff is the universe's way of protecting you and pushing you in a direction you didn't have the strength to go yourself.

There are jobs we stay in too long. Situations we know aren't good for us but aren't quite ready to leave. We tell ourselves we'll give it another six months. We'll see if things get better. We'll make it work.

And then, the decision gets made for us. It doesn't feel like a gift when it happens. But with a little distance, the thing that felt like rejection can start to look a lot more like redirection.

I don't know what my friend's next chapter will look like. I do know him well enough to believe he'll be fine. More than fine, actually. I think he'll eventually land somewhere that is healthier and happier and wonder why he stayed where he was for as long as he did.

And maybe that's one of the unexpected gifts of getting older.

I've finally lived long enough to know that sometimes the thing you desperately wanted to prevent is the very thing that sets you free.